Time for the first review of the newly re-commissioned MovieJerks blog. The format's going to be undergoing some changes, I'm sure, so this is a first stab at an ongoing process. So deal with it.
Format: Theatrical
Screening Date: 9/29/2010
Run Time: 1 hr 45 min
Director: Anton Corbijn
Release Date: 2010
Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie
Review At A Glance
Enjoyment 2/10
Presentation 6/10
This was a movie that I had very little information about going into it. It had been on my radar for a few weeks, and with very weak theatrical offerings I decided to give it a chance. George Clooney in what appears to be some sort of spy thriller? Potential. I dragged Griffie to the movie as well, who was about in the same boat.
Good God, the movie was a snoozefest. It started off in Sweden, in the snow, with Clooney and a brief but relatively lively if realistic and brief action scene. OK movie, I can dig that. We are then treated to what seems like an hour of Clooney driving around Italy to lay low, during which he receives a "job." At this point there is no indication as to what this character does, except that he's good at shooting people. Again, OK movie, I can get into that, but nothing EVER comes of it. He builds a gun to fit into a briefcase, meets the prostitute with a heart of gold (Character Stereotype #31), and drives around.
And if you're a fan of heart-pumping, show-stopping scenes of people driving the speed limit, boy are you in for a treat. This movie was made for you! Thrill as Clooney ... drives. And then drives some more. And then, for a change of pace, drives to some new place to meet a side character of a side character that seems to add nothing to the overall experience. It was difficult to keep my eyes open during this film, and I'm not convinced I didn't doze off a few times in the theater.
Granted, Italy is a beautiful place, and the cinematography was well done. But the whole movie felt like the summer vacation photos of an American tourist who works for Colt. Ughhhh. So dull. So dry. So uninteresting.
There were about three action scenes in the whole movie that seemed to be the passage of time markers, and they were all short. One to begin, one in the middle to remind the audience they haven't died and gone to Purgatory, and one at the end to wake people up so that they can leave. How considerate.
I think somewhere in this film there's an underlying message about emotional attachments, but I'm not sure what it is. Are emotional attachments bad? Did the main character in this movie have an emotional attachment to the prostitute with the heart of gold? I honestly don't know. What about the Italian priest and the bit about sinners? Is Clooney trying to do right by his own moral code, surviving in a world where the best use of his skills is to build guns? Is he an assassin? Does he work for some organization? Who are the Swedes? Why do they want him dead? Does he know something? None of these questions EVEN GET ASKED, since our only window into the movie was Clooney's character and he already friggin' knew the answers. He was just keeping them from us.
Ass.
In summation, I can't in good taste recommend this movie to anyone but the chronic sleep-deprived. Avoid this movie. Please.
