Weird Dave Review: The Social Network

I wanted to see a movie. Red just came out in theaters and I wanted to see that, but since no one else wanted to see a movie this night I decided to see the movie no one wanted to see but myself anyway - The Social Network. And watch it I did!

Format: AMC Theater

Screening Date: 10/20/2010

Run Time: 2 hr 1 min

Director: David Fincher

Release Date: 2010

Attendance: Weird Dave

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 7/10

Presentation 9/10

I'm going to start this by saying I think this movie has Oscar contender written all over it. I don't know about winning, but I can definitely see it being nominated for best picture, best director, best screen play (by Aaron Sorkin!), best actor, and probably even best supporting actor. Does it deserve to be nominated? I think so.

If you're not familiar with the movie it's about the creation of Facebook and it's CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. It's got betrayals, manipulation, heated arguments, accusations, tears, laughs, and a dude on a zip line. You can't make this stuff up!

Or maybe you can. To be honest, I have no idea how much of the movie is true - but it certainly makes for an entertaining experience. Jesse Eisenberg does a terrific job as Mark Zuckerberg, who is portrayed as a total douchebag who just wants to fit in. Hard not to relate on some level, but his attitude in the movie makes it very difficult to identify with him. His best friend, played by Andrew Garfield, does a terrific job and definitely deserves a nod for best supporting actor. Again, how much is truth and how much is fiction I can't say, but the drama presented on screen must have been based on something. Or maybe not?

Overall I think the movie was about one guy who's trying to make something of his life, gets burned (rightly so) and left by a girl, and goes to great lengths to prove that he can do something. It's just that something has become so pervasive in every day life that it's almost terrifying. How many of you are reading this Movie Jerks blog posting from the Facebook link? Probably most of you. Assuming there is more than a handful of you out there. Hello?

I walked away from this movie a little disturbed to be honest, and I'm more than a little disturbed at that. I find myself wanting to edge away from Facebook with no real discernible reason. Is it just because it's popular? Wow is that a terrible reason. I'm at odds with my inquisitive nature (which is just a nice way of saying I'm obsessed with knowing what's going on) which Facebook really helps feed versus ... what? What's on the other end? What's keeping me from using Facebook? Is it just the notion that someday our entire lives are going to be on the web, out there for all to see, warts and all? I just don't know.

At any rate, I would heartily recommend this movie. It's well presented, with most of the film taking place as flashback scenes to support the depositions/testimony of the various characters in the lawsuits surrounding Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook a few years ago. And one of them is ongoing now, I think. Court room style drama, even when it's without a judge or jury, is some of the most engaging, and David Fincher handles the presentation very well. It's almost like I'm being manipulated into liking this movie ... Nah.

Special nod goes to Justin Timberlake, who plays the creator of Napster. I don't know anything about this person in real life, but Justin Timberlake plays him as the BIGGEST douchebag of them all. As much as these things can be faulted his character seems to the crux of the falling out between Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin (played by Andrew Garfield).

Wherein lies the truth? I don't know. But this movie makes for one hell of an interesting drama, that's for sure. Watch it with that in mind and try not to overthink the real-life details. It'll help you sleep at night.

Weird Dave Review: Friday the 13th Part VI

Halloween Horror Film Fest continues with the presentation of Friday the 13th Part VI! Is it worth your time?

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/15/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 26 min

Director: Tom McLoughlin

Release Date: 1986

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Dirty Hippie, Eric, Jesse

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 6/10

Presentation 5/10

Short answer - no. Longer answer - nnnnnooooooooo. I grew up watching the Friday the 13th movies, and to be honest they frightened me (but not nearly as much as A Nightmare on Elm Street). Jason was a killer, yes, and he stalked people in the woods, but that's it.

Or at least it was until Part VI. The movie starts with the kid who killed Jason in Part IV coming to make sure the job is done - which he does by driving a metal stake into Jason's corpse, which is promptly reanimated by lightning and goes on a killing spree. And it goes down from there, if you can believe that.

I have vague memories of this movie being better, but it really was pretty bad even for a slasher flick. Bottom line - you watch a slasher flick like this for the boobs and the blood, and this movie was sorely lacking in both departments. Jason killed quite a few people, and in fact I think this movie holds the number 2 spot for most kills in a Jason movie, but they are shot and presented so poorly that you're never left to cringe and savor the moment. The director cuts away from every decapitation, every gutting, every stabbing, every bloody kill in the whole movie that you feel just down right cheated. And there's one terrible sex scene in the movie that takes place in a sorry excuse for a Winnebago. Yippee.

Really, just avoid this movie - it's not as good as you remember. Watch Friday the 13th Part III or even Part X instead. And when you do (insert segway here!) enjoy a tall Jason Voorhees for me! The drink for this particular Halloween Horror entry was appropriately titled a Jason Voorhees, which is one shot of vanilla vodka, one shot of cream, and about three shots of root beer (regular root beer). It tastes like a root beer float! Why it's called a Jason Voorhees, however, I just don't know. It's brown ... like Jason's clothing. I guess?

Weird Dave Review: I Spit On Your Grave

A friend from work, one Ryan Wooley, shares similar tastes in movies as I do. We chit chat about movies every now and then, and recently we've been talking about cult movie fanatic Joe Bob Briggs. He hosted a show on TNT called MonsterVision that I recall seeing and enjoying, though I have little actual memories of what he said. Just impressions. So conversation turned towards what Joe Bob had done lately, and the only thing Ryan could think of was some commentaries - specifically one for I Spit on Your Grave. It just so happened that Ryan owned a copy, so he "graciously" let me borrow a copy. I popped it in one Tuesday evening and here's my review.

Format: TV Room

Screening Date: 10/12/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 40 min

Director: Meir Zarchi

Release Date: 1978

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie (partly), Joe Bob Briggs (commentary)

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 4/10

Presentation 7/10

If you're not familiar with this movie, I Spit on Your Grave (originally billed as Day of the Woman) is a rape-revenge story. That ... pretty much sums it up. I think it holds the record for longest continuous rape scene in cinematic history, with it clocking in around 25 minutes or so. That 25 minutes was long, brutal, and difficult to watch.

Or at least it would have been had I been watching it without commentary by famed cult movie personality, Joe Bob Briggs. Now, normally I'm not one to watch movies with commentary tracks (or at least not normal ones - RiffTrax is the big exception!). But watching I Spit on Your Grave with Joe Bob Briggs commentary was like watching the movie with Joe Bob in the room. He had a very natural way of speaking, and actually watched the movie and commented on things as they happened. He posited questions and provided some interesting information, and I learned he knows WAY too much about the rape-revenge genre of movies.

I'll be honest I don't feel very qualified to really rate or even comment on the movie itself. It's brutal ... and that's about all I can say. It's very realistic, which means it's pretty hard to watch in terms of content - but in terms of quality it is well done and easy to follow. Joe Bob definitely made this movie worth watching, and I really feel that commentary tracks done by people who were NOT involved in the making of the movie in question tend to provide the best experience.

Should you see this movie? Hard to say. Should you watch Cannibal Holocaust? I put these two movies in the same category (the difference in my own experience being I didn't have Joe Bob Briggs around to help watch Cannibal Holocaust) - they're both well done movies about an abhorrent subject matter. Doesn't mean they shouldn't get made, but I don't think they're for everyone. Or even most people.

Should you watch this movie with Joe Bob Briggs commentary? I would recommend that. He's clearly a fan of the drive-in movie style of film and knows a good deal about it, so he's interesting without being overwhelming and informative without being boring. He even straddles the line between riffing the movie and admiring it. While clearly a fan of movies in general Joe Bob was critical of a few scenes in I Spit on Your Grave that I would have to agree with (a few scenes dragged on much too long).

I Spit on Your Grave. A rape-revenge movie. Pretty much sums it up.

Weird Dave Review: Dial M for Murder

Up next for the Top 5 Movie Fest (gotta come up with a better name) is actually my own pick. This was a bit of a shot in the dark, so I'll admit I was a bit nervous going into the movie. But it turned out OK in the end.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/10/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 45 min

Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Release Date: 1954

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge, Killer Wyrm, Dirty Hippie, Eric, Alaina, Matthew

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 8/10

Presentation 9/10

I learned a few things and watched a WHOLE lot of movies in the past year in our foray into the AFI Top 100 Movies List. One of the things that really stuck with me was that I really enjoyed all of Alfred Hitchcock's movies that were presented. The first was North by Northwest, the second was Rear Window, the third was Psycho, and the fourth was Vertigo. Vertigo actually cracked the top 10, but to be honest it was my least favorite of the four. Pyscho I had seen, but the other two came out of nowhere for me.

Especially Rear Window. It was well-acted, well-written, well-directed, and well-presented. Everything about the movie oozed suspense, witty charm, and danger. I wanted to put an Alfred Hitchcock movie on my top 5 list but I was kind of in the dark as to which one. The Birds? Nah, too campy I thought. The Man Who Knew Too Much (his remake of his own movie)? I watched that separate from everyone else, enjoyed it, but it didn't blow me away. But Dial M for Murder - the title was great and evocative and only a relatively small group of people I knew had actually seen it.

The first thing you have to know about Dial M for Murder is that it is very British. And by very British, I mean ridiculously British. It's based on a stage play and the entire movie takes place almost entirely within the entirety of one apartment (Hell, one room in one apartment) - or flat, or house, or something. I dig some poking around beforehand and apparently filming of the movie took only 4 weeks, and 1 week of that was dedicated to the murder scene itself. A pair of scissors to the back. Well done, but I'm not sure why it took a week to film.

I really enjoyed the movie, and I don't want to just run down the plot here - you should see the movie, and if not there are better synopsis sites out in the web wilderness to peruse. The movie really kept me guessing - I didn't know how it was going to end, and it really felt like the perfect crime on paper. Even as things started to unravel the man who plots the murder of his wife seems to have thought of everything and planned for a very long time.

It's sharply editing, but there is a LOT of talking. Pretty much all dialog from start to finish, but even still I found myself riveted and engaged the entire time. If you haven't seen it Dial M for Murder is a great suspense film from the master of suspense himself. Check it out.

It's curious, but after watching this movie I find myself knowing where every pair of scissors in my house is located and if they've been moved. Wonder if that means something.

Oh well.

Site for Top 5 Movies

In case you were wondering, "what movies have people selected for their top 5 selections?" you can worry no more with the below link! Eric has kindly put together a site where we can view IMDB information for each movie along with a trailer (if available). Check it out. NOW!

http://nerdism.net/movienerds

Weird Dave Review: The Thing

Since it's October, that means Theater in the Garage is going through a Halloween Horror Film Fest on Thursdays in lieu of our regularly scheduled line up. The first week was Alien, and this week we watched the 1982 John Carpenter classic, The Thing.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/8/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 39 min

Director: John Carpenter

Release Date: 1982

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge, Killer Wyrm, Dirty Hippie, Wilder, Eric, Matthew

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 10/10

Presentation 9/10

This is one of my favorite movies of all time. The atmosphere, the pacing, the cast, the sets, the music - it all comes together as one fantastically terrifying cinematic treasure. I think this stands as John Carpenter's best work (though it is beat out by just a nudge on my own personal scale by Big Trouble in Little China). For those not in the know, John Carpenter's The Thing is ostensibly a remake of the 1951 sci-fi film The Thing From Another World, and both are adaptations of a John W. Campbell story from 1938 called Who Goes There? Fun fact.

I'm not going to disseminate the plot, as I'm sure most of you have seen the movie, but for the benefit of the one or two people who haven't here's a quick rundown - Antarctica station, Norwegians uncover spacecraft and unknown alien organism, organism takes over any living entity, wackiness ensues. What gets me every time I watch this movie is how great the effects are. And they're real! There's no CG in this movie, just good old fashioned models and robots. And it works so great.

The other amazing piece of the movie that gets me every time is the music. Composed by Ennio Morricone (of spaghetti-western fame), it serves as the perfect soundtrack to mistrust, paranoia, and horror. If you play any horror-themed RPGs you NEED to have this soundtrack, no questions asked. It creates perfect tension without taking players out of the moment with a more recognizable soundtrack. Eerie and wonderful!

As most of you probably know for the Halloween Horror Film Fest I serve up a tasty mixed drink thematically appropriate to the movie being watched. This movie was difficult to find a suitable one, and I eventually settled on Pina Coladas. Why Pina Coladas? Because they are 1) white like the frozen continent of Antarctica, 2) are cold like the biting winds of Antarctica, and 3) contain a deceptive amount of alcohol. I couldn't find a drink based solely on The Thing, or John Carpenter, or Wilford Brimley, or paranoia, or bodysnatchers. I considered serving straight J&B Scotch as Kurt Russel's character drinks but ... decided against it.

And whenever I see Kurt Russel in his big cowboy hat I think chimichangas. Not sure why.

Weird Dave Review: Superman/Batman Apocalypse

Last weekend I made a trip out to the local Best Buy and I was reminded of the new Superman/Batman movie, Apocalypse, had just been released. I was a fan of the new Batman: Under the Red Hood movie, and while Darkseid just isn't as cool as Thanos, wanted to give this new release a shot. So, on Tuesday, I fired up the garage theater with Spoonbridge and Griffie and popped it in.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/5/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 18 min

Director: Lauren Montgomery

Release Date: 2010

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 5/10

Presentation 6/10

Man, do I hate Superman. The character is simply the worst of the worst when it comes to ... well, anything. And by that I mean he is the worst character I can ever think of - the only one that comes close is his pulp progenitor, Doc Savage. Superman can do anything, and his only flaws are the whole "great responsibility" situation that plague most superheroes. But the difference with Superman is that in order to threaten him on a physical scale you need to create ginormous world-shattering things to throw at him. And even then he's gonna win.

But there's also the emotional angle, and that's what they tried to do with the newest DC animated movie Superman/Batman Apocalypse. To start, if I had known this was the origin of the Supergirl character I WOULD NOT HAVE PURCHASED THIS MOVIE. Because that's exactly what it is, the origin of a spin-off Superman character with Batman thrown in almost as an afterthought. Hell, Wonder Woman has just as large a role in the movie as Batman but she doesn't get top billing. What the heck, DC?

At any rate, Apocalypse follows the story of a kryptonite meteor that contains Kal-El's cousin, Kara Zor-El. Why she's not as old as Kal-El is beyond me, and they don't really explain that AT ALL, but they establish that her parents sent her off Krypton at the same time Superman's parents did. Huge age difference, as she is just a teenager in the movie. Whatever.

It opens with the meteorite crashing into Gotham Bay, which seems to be the only way they could think of to get Batman involved. Go ahead and guess who voices Kara. I'll give you some hints. The character starts off nekked. She's young. She's extremely powerful but not quite in control of her feelings/powers. If you guess Summer Glau, congratulations! You're right. I don't think I've seen Summer Glau in a role that those words did not sum up. Type cast? Perhaps.

The passage of time is handled poorly, as we jump from "naked girl who only speaks Krypton" to "shopping spree in Metropolis" to "Krypto the Super Dog doesn't like the newcomer in the Fortress of Solitude" in a matter of minutes, but really the time span is months. And you heard me right. Krypto the Super Dog is in this movie. You can hear my eye twitching, can't you?

Batman doesn't trust Kara and Superman trusts her too much, so they decide to have her train on Paradise Island with Wonder Woman and her amazons. She learns to fight, and more months pass in a short time frame. We are also treated to images of the planet Apokalips (I think that's how you spell it) where the god-like being Darkseid reigns supreme. He has a strange thing for butch Earth women, and they occupy his Honor Guard. Darkseid senses Kara's power and decides to recruit her to be captain of his Honor Guard. Cue massive battle on Paradise Island.

There was also something in there about an oracle who died, but it wasn't really very clear. Kara is kidnapped by Darkseid, so Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and the former captain of Darkseid's Honor Guard depart for Apokalips via a boom tube (tee hee!). Turns out Darkseid has brainwashed Kara into blah blah blah.

I really don't want to write any more this summary because it's sounding dumber and dumber with each passing sentence. Bottom line - the animation was well-done, though Batman's cape was unnaturally slimming, and his upper lip bothered me. The voice acting was solid enough, with Kevin Conroy returning as Batman. The only one that really bothered me was Darkseid's voice. Just didn't have enough menace or properly convey the type of power a character like that possesses.

Big fights at the end with strange creatures on Apokalips that had its entertaining moments. Kara decides to become Supergirl after a series of explosive battles with Darkseid in Smallville. Blah blah blah. Watch at your own risk, and if you're a fan of Supergirl I'm sure you'll dig this movie. But otherwise ... I'd stay away.

Weird Dave Review: Waking Life

With the AFI Top 100 Movies list complete, we Movie Jerks have decided to start up a list of our own. Essentially each Movie Jerk picks 5 movies that they want others to see. Philosophies differ as to the selection of the 5 movies - some of us chose to pick movies we've never seen, while others picked movies they've seen and want others to see. It's going to be interesting, and on Saturday October 2nd we had our first movie - Waking Life.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/3/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 39 min

Director: Richard Linklater

Release Date: 2001

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Killer Wyrm, Akulas Psyhos (!), Matthew, Trent, Eric, Alaina

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 7/10

Presentation 7/10

Picked by the whim of a fanciful d10, the Movie Jerk to open the post-AFI list was Alaina. She had yet chosen all of her 5, but she had one in mind right away - Richard Linklater's 2001 under-the-radar movie, Waking Life. I had never heard of this movie before and was told it was about dreams.

And boy was it ever. Not only was it about dreams, but it was filmed as though it were a dream. The techniques Linklater used in this film he would later apply to his more mainstream release A Scanner Darkly. Essentially it's animation over real life (for which I'm sure there's a word for), but Waking Life has a sort of chaos that really captures the feeling of a dream. People warp and shift in strange, almost surreal ways even as you're looking at them and listening to them speak.

Which is something you'd better enjoy, because the movie is really just a series of conversation vignettes between various random people and the main character. Most had interesting things to say and all of the topics centered around dreams or moments in dream, though one particularly confusing section spoke of the Holy Moment. After watching the movie, I'm still not sure what a Holy Moment is - something about realizing that reality is based on the concept of "now" being the only moment where all things exist, and we've created history and time to come to terms with this monumental concept? I think?

It's all very surreal, with everything in a state of constant motion. There are many concepts bandied about the movie through animated (both actually and emotionally) ways, but I still found myself straining to stay interested. Characters would approach the protagonist and start talking with no build-up or introduction and begin to discuss at length something profound about dreams. Who are these people? The protagonist doesn't seem perturbed at their presence or their conversations, simply nodding at various times (or was that the animation jumping around?).

This is a movie that you can pull a lot of different viewpoints from. The one that I found the most interesting, and one that I hadn't really heard before, was that death was simply a constant dream state. If I had to pull a lesson or core concept from the film that would be it, but that may be simply because it was the last of the dream concepts discussed.

Bottom line - if you went and saw Inception and enjoyed the multi-layered dream facet of that movie, I'm confident in saying you'll find most of Waking Life enjoyable, or at least interesting. I'm ... not quite convinced this was a movie in the traditional sense of the word, as there was no story (in the sense of beginning, middle, end) - just conversations of complex dream concepts between various people. Still, interesting and insightful, this "movie" made me think about dreams in a new way, and that's gotta count for something.

Weird Dave Review: Alien

In October 2009 I decided to take a break from the AFI Top 100 Films that were being shown in the Theater in the Garage on Thursdays in exchange for a more thematically-appropriate suite of movies. It became a rundown of the classic Universal horror movies - Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Mummy, The Wolfman, Frankenstein, and Dracula.

This year I wanted to do something similar and explore the various subgenres of horror movies. After a bit of deliberation I decided to start with Ridley Scott's classic sci-fi horror film, Alien.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/1/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 57 min

Director: Ridley Scott

Release Date: 1979

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Killer Wyrm, Akulas Psyhos (!), Matthew, Trent

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 9/10

Presentation 10/10

This is one of the great horror movies of our time. It perfectly captures feelings of isolation and the absolute menace of an unknown alien creature. If you haven't seen it ... shame! Go see it now, because I'm going to assume everyone's seen it and spoil some of the movie here. When you do see it make sure it's the theatrical version, not the "director's" cut that was released a few years ago (along with an extended uncut "director's" cut). Ridley Scott has gone on record saying that the "director's" cut of the movie is the theatrical one - that's the movie he wanted to release as he had complete control over the editing. The movie is paced excellently, while the extended editions feel ... uneven. You see too much of the titular alien too early in those uncut versions. Best to leave the menace where it belongs - in the shadows and in terrifying jump moments.

As I don't want to run down the plot of the movie I'm going to focus on a few of my favorite things about this movie. The first are the sets. Holy crap is this movie gorgeous looking in terms of the raw detail. I really, really miss the days of models especially for sci-fi movies. So much detail goes into those that it feels so real, due in large part because IT IS SO REAL. The Nostromo is wonderfully dark, dank, old, and worn out, a mining ship that's clearly seen much use. The planet holding the alien eggs is a windswept Hell hole teeming with shadows and darkness and mystery. Everything about the movie has a real feel which helps to accentuate the terror of the situation.

I also really enjoyed Ian Holm as the android "Don't Call Me" Ash willing to do anything to achieve company goals. He's so matter-of-fact in his jackassery and his complete lack of empathy towards the crew that you just hate him immediately, though you don't really have a reason at first. And the scene where Ripley is talking to his severed head? Priceless.

The music helps to create this atmosphere of dread and breathless anticipation that it's difficult to take your eyes off the film. Difficult for most people, unfortunately, but as I am not most people I did doze off a few times. Do NOT take that as a criticism of the film on any level. It's just that I've seen this movie dozens of times and it was late and the alcohol didn't help.

Did I forget to mention the alcohol? The other tradition started in October 2009 was the serving of a thematically-appropriate mixed drink to go along with the movie. With the classic Universal movies it was easy, but this year I'm having difficulties finding suitable drinks. For Alien I found a recipe for "alien secretion" which is 1 part Midori melon liquor, 1 part Malibu coconut rum, and 1 part pineapple juice. It was, at one movie goer put it, "quite booze-y" and perhaps was a bit on the strong side.

All in all, I'd say a great movie to kick off the October 2010 Halloween Horror filmfest.

Weird Dave Review: The American

Time for the first review of the newly re-commissioned MovieJerks blog. The format's going to be undergoing some changes, I'm sure, so this is a first stab at an ongoing process. So deal with it.

Format: Theatrical

Screening Date: 9/29/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 45 min

Director: Anton Corbijn

Release Date: 2010

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 2/10

Presentation 6/10

This was a movie that I had very little information about going into it. It had been on my radar for a few weeks, and with very weak theatrical offerings I decided to give it a chance. George Clooney in what appears to be some sort of spy thriller? Potential. I dragged Griffie to the movie as well, who was about in the same boat.

Good God, the movie was a snoozefest. It started off in Sweden, in the snow, with Clooney and a brief but relatively lively if realistic and brief action scene. OK movie, I can dig that. We are then treated to what seems like an hour of Clooney driving around Italy to lay low, during which he receives a "job." At this point there is no indication as to what this character does, except that he's good at shooting people. Again, OK movie, I can get into that, but nothing EVER comes of it. He builds a gun to fit into a briefcase, meets the prostitute with a heart of gold (Character Stereotype #31), and drives around.

And if you're a fan of heart-pumping, show-stopping scenes of people driving the speed limit, boy are you in for a treat. This movie was made for you! Thrill as Clooney ... drives. And then drives some more. And then, for a change of pace, drives to some new place to meet a side character of a side character that seems to add nothing to the overall experience. It was difficult to keep my eyes open during this film, and I'm not convinced I didn't doze off a few times in the theater.

Granted, Italy is a beautiful place, and the cinematography was well done. But the whole movie felt like the summer vacation photos of an American tourist who works for Colt. Ughhhh. So dull. So dry. So uninteresting.

There were about three action scenes in the whole movie that seemed to be the passage of time markers, and they were all short. One to begin, one in the middle to remind the audience they haven't died and gone to Purgatory, and one at the end to wake people up so that they can leave. How considerate.

I think somewhere in this film there's an underlying message about emotional attachments, but I'm not sure what it is. Are emotional attachments bad? Did the main character in this movie have an emotional attachment to the prostitute with the heart of gold? I honestly don't know. What about the Italian priest and the bit about sinners? Is Clooney trying to do right by his own moral code, surviving in a world where the best use of his skills is to build guns? Is he an assassin? Does he work for some organization? Who are the Swedes? Why do they want him dead? Does he know something? None of these questions EVEN GET ASKED, since our only window into the movie was Clooney's character and he already friggin' knew the answers. He was just keeping them from us.

Ass.

In summation, I can't in good taste recommend this movie to anyone but the chronic sleep-deprived. Avoid this movie. Please.

Change in Format

I was thinking today, which is something that happens most days, that this blog is terribly underutilized. I blame myself - Harris suggested that I use this blog to post reviews for the AFI movies, and it was a good idea that died with #94. We just finished #1 so I'm not going to go back, but instead I'm going to post my thoughts on EVERY movie I see from now on. Theatrical, DVD, Netflix, whatever - if I see it I'm going to throw up my thoughts on it on this blog. Get some interest going.

I invite others to do the same. If you're a Movie Jerk enough.