Last weekend I made a trip out to the local Best Buy and I was reminded of the new Superman/Batman movie, Apocalypse, had just been released. I was a fan of the new Batman: Under the Red Hood movie, and while Darkseid just isn't as cool as Thanos, wanted to give this new release a shot. So, on Tuesday, I fired up the garage theater with Spoonbridge and Griffie and popped it in.
Format: Theater in the Garage
Screening Date: 10/5/2010
Run Time: 1 hr 18 min
Director: Lauren Montgomery
Release Date: 2010
Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge
Review At A Glance
Enjoyment 5/10
Presentation 6/10
Man, do I hate Superman. The character is simply the worst of the worst when it comes to ... well, anything. And by that I mean he is the worst character I can ever think of - the only one that comes close is his pulp progenitor, Doc Savage. Superman can do anything, and his only flaws are the whole "great responsibility" situation that plague most superheroes. But the difference with Superman is that in order to threaten him on a physical scale you need to create ginormous world-shattering things to throw at him. And even then he's gonna win.
But there's also the emotional angle, and that's what they tried to do with the newest DC animated movie Superman/Batman Apocalypse. To start, if I had known this was the origin of the Supergirl character I WOULD NOT HAVE PURCHASED THIS MOVIE. Because that's exactly what it is, the origin of a spin-off Superman character with Batman thrown in almost as an afterthought. Hell, Wonder Woman has just as large a role in the movie as Batman but she doesn't get top billing. What the heck, DC?
At any rate, Apocalypse follows the story of a kryptonite meteor that contains Kal-El's cousin, Kara Zor-El. Why she's not as old as Kal-El is beyond me, and they don't really explain that AT ALL, but they establish that her parents sent her off Krypton at the same time Superman's parents did. Huge age difference, as she is just a teenager in the movie. Whatever.
It opens with the meteorite crashing into Gotham Bay, which seems to be the only way they could think of to get Batman involved. Go ahead and guess who voices Kara. I'll give you some hints. The character starts off nekked. She's young. She's extremely powerful but not quite in control of her feelings/powers. If you guess Summer Glau, congratulations! You're right. I don't think I've seen Summer Glau in a role that those words did not sum up. Type cast? Perhaps.
The passage of time is handled poorly, as we jump from "naked girl who only speaks Krypton" to "shopping spree in Metropolis" to "Krypto the Super Dog doesn't like the newcomer in the Fortress of Solitude" in a matter of minutes, but really the time span is months. And you heard me right. Krypto the Super Dog is in this movie. You can hear my eye twitching, can't you?
Batman doesn't trust Kara and Superman trusts her too much, so they decide to have her train on Paradise Island with Wonder Woman and her amazons. She learns to fight, and more months pass in a short time frame. We are also treated to images of the planet Apokalips (I think that's how you spell it) where the god-like being Darkseid reigns supreme. He has a strange thing for butch Earth women, and they occupy his Honor Guard. Darkseid senses Kara's power and decides to recruit her to be captain of his Honor Guard. Cue massive battle on Paradise Island.
There was also something in there about an oracle who died, but it wasn't really very clear. Kara is kidnapped by Darkseid, so Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and the former captain of Darkseid's Honor Guard depart for Apokalips via a boom tube (tee hee!). Turns out Darkseid has brainwashed Kara into blah blah blah.
I really don't want to write any more this summary because it's sounding dumber and dumber with each passing sentence. Bottom line - the animation was well-done, though Batman's cape was unnaturally slimming, and his upper lip bothered me. The voice acting was solid enough, with Kevin Conroy returning as Batman. The only one that really bothered me was Darkseid's voice. Just didn't have enough menace or properly convey the type of power a character like that possesses.
Big fights at the end with strange creatures on Apokalips that had its entertaining moments. Kara decides to become Supergirl after a series of explosive battles with Darkseid in Smallville. Blah blah blah. Watch at your own risk, and if you're a fan of Supergirl I'm sure you'll dig this movie. But otherwise ... I'd stay away.
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