Weird Dave Review: The Social Network

I wanted to see a movie. Red just came out in theaters and I wanted to see that, but since no one else wanted to see a movie this night I decided to see the movie no one wanted to see but myself anyway - The Social Network. And watch it I did!

Format: AMC Theater

Screening Date: 10/20/2010

Run Time: 2 hr 1 min

Director: David Fincher

Release Date: 2010

Attendance: Weird Dave

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 7/10

Presentation 9/10

I'm going to start this by saying I think this movie has Oscar contender written all over it. I don't know about winning, but I can definitely see it being nominated for best picture, best director, best screen play (by Aaron Sorkin!), best actor, and probably even best supporting actor. Does it deserve to be nominated? I think so.

If you're not familiar with the movie it's about the creation of Facebook and it's CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. It's got betrayals, manipulation, heated arguments, accusations, tears, laughs, and a dude on a zip line. You can't make this stuff up!

Or maybe you can. To be honest, I have no idea how much of the movie is true - but it certainly makes for an entertaining experience. Jesse Eisenberg does a terrific job as Mark Zuckerberg, who is portrayed as a total douchebag who just wants to fit in. Hard not to relate on some level, but his attitude in the movie makes it very difficult to identify with him. His best friend, played by Andrew Garfield, does a terrific job and definitely deserves a nod for best supporting actor. Again, how much is truth and how much is fiction I can't say, but the drama presented on screen must have been based on something. Or maybe not?

Overall I think the movie was about one guy who's trying to make something of his life, gets burned (rightly so) and left by a girl, and goes to great lengths to prove that he can do something. It's just that something has become so pervasive in every day life that it's almost terrifying. How many of you are reading this Movie Jerks blog posting from the Facebook link? Probably most of you. Assuming there is more than a handful of you out there. Hello?

I walked away from this movie a little disturbed to be honest, and I'm more than a little disturbed at that. I find myself wanting to edge away from Facebook with no real discernible reason. Is it just because it's popular? Wow is that a terrible reason. I'm at odds with my inquisitive nature (which is just a nice way of saying I'm obsessed with knowing what's going on) which Facebook really helps feed versus ... what? What's on the other end? What's keeping me from using Facebook? Is it just the notion that someday our entire lives are going to be on the web, out there for all to see, warts and all? I just don't know.

At any rate, I would heartily recommend this movie. It's well presented, with most of the film taking place as flashback scenes to support the depositions/testimony of the various characters in the lawsuits surrounding Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook a few years ago. And one of them is ongoing now, I think. Court room style drama, even when it's without a judge or jury, is some of the most engaging, and David Fincher handles the presentation very well. It's almost like I'm being manipulated into liking this movie ... Nah.

Special nod goes to Justin Timberlake, who plays the creator of Napster. I don't know anything about this person in real life, but Justin Timberlake plays him as the BIGGEST douchebag of them all. As much as these things can be faulted his character seems to the crux of the falling out between Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin (played by Andrew Garfield).

Wherein lies the truth? I don't know. But this movie makes for one hell of an interesting drama, that's for sure. Watch it with that in mind and try not to overthink the real-life details. It'll help you sleep at night.

Weird Dave Review: Friday the 13th Part VI

Halloween Horror Film Fest continues with the presentation of Friday the 13th Part VI! Is it worth your time?

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/15/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 26 min

Director: Tom McLoughlin

Release Date: 1986

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Dirty Hippie, Eric, Jesse

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 6/10

Presentation 5/10

Short answer - no. Longer answer - nnnnnooooooooo. I grew up watching the Friday the 13th movies, and to be honest they frightened me (but not nearly as much as A Nightmare on Elm Street). Jason was a killer, yes, and he stalked people in the woods, but that's it.

Or at least it was until Part VI. The movie starts with the kid who killed Jason in Part IV coming to make sure the job is done - which he does by driving a metal stake into Jason's corpse, which is promptly reanimated by lightning and goes on a killing spree. And it goes down from there, if you can believe that.

I have vague memories of this movie being better, but it really was pretty bad even for a slasher flick. Bottom line - you watch a slasher flick like this for the boobs and the blood, and this movie was sorely lacking in both departments. Jason killed quite a few people, and in fact I think this movie holds the number 2 spot for most kills in a Jason movie, but they are shot and presented so poorly that you're never left to cringe and savor the moment. The director cuts away from every decapitation, every gutting, every stabbing, every bloody kill in the whole movie that you feel just down right cheated. And there's one terrible sex scene in the movie that takes place in a sorry excuse for a Winnebago. Yippee.

Really, just avoid this movie - it's not as good as you remember. Watch Friday the 13th Part III or even Part X instead. And when you do (insert segway here!) enjoy a tall Jason Voorhees for me! The drink for this particular Halloween Horror entry was appropriately titled a Jason Voorhees, which is one shot of vanilla vodka, one shot of cream, and about three shots of root beer (regular root beer). It tastes like a root beer float! Why it's called a Jason Voorhees, however, I just don't know. It's brown ... like Jason's clothing. I guess?

Weird Dave Review: I Spit On Your Grave

A friend from work, one Ryan Wooley, shares similar tastes in movies as I do. We chit chat about movies every now and then, and recently we've been talking about cult movie fanatic Joe Bob Briggs. He hosted a show on TNT called MonsterVision that I recall seeing and enjoying, though I have little actual memories of what he said. Just impressions. So conversation turned towards what Joe Bob had done lately, and the only thing Ryan could think of was some commentaries - specifically one for I Spit on Your Grave. It just so happened that Ryan owned a copy, so he "graciously" let me borrow a copy. I popped it in one Tuesday evening and here's my review.

Format: TV Room

Screening Date: 10/12/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 40 min

Director: Meir Zarchi

Release Date: 1978

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie (partly), Joe Bob Briggs (commentary)

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 4/10

Presentation 7/10

If you're not familiar with this movie, I Spit on Your Grave (originally billed as Day of the Woman) is a rape-revenge story. That ... pretty much sums it up. I think it holds the record for longest continuous rape scene in cinematic history, with it clocking in around 25 minutes or so. That 25 minutes was long, brutal, and difficult to watch.

Or at least it would have been had I been watching it without commentary by famed cult movie personality, Joe Bob Briggs. Now, normally I'm not one to watch movies with commentary tracks (or at least not normal ones - RiffTrax is the big exception!). But watching I Spit on Your Grave with Joe Bob Briggs commentary was like watching the movie with Joe Bob in the room. He had a very natural way of speaking, and actually watched the movie and commented on things as they happened. He posited questions and provided some interesting information, and I learned he knows WAY too much about the rape-revenge genre of movies.

I'll be honest I don't feel very qualified to really rate or even comment on the movie itself. It's brutal ... and that's about all I can say. It's very realistic, which means it's pretty hard to watch in terms of content - but in terms of quality it is well done and easy to follow. Joe Bob definitely made this movie worth watching, and I really feel that commentary tracks done by people who were NOT involved in the making of the movie in question tend to provide the best experience.

Should you see this movie? Hard to say. Should you watch Cannibal Holocaust? I put these two movies in the same category (the difference in my own experience being I didn't have Joe Bob Briggs around to help watch Cannibal Holocaust) - they're both well done movies about an abhorrent subject matter. Doesn't mean they shouldn't get made, but I don't think they're for everyone. Or even most people.

Should you watch this movie with Joe Bob Briggs commentary? I would recommend that. He's clearly a fan of the drive-in movie style of film and knows a good deal about it, so he's interesting without being overwhelming and informative without being boring. He even straddles the line between riffing the movie and admiring it. While clearly a fan of movies in general Joe Bob was critical of a few scenes in I Spit on Your Grave that I would have to agree with (a few scenes dragged on much too long).

I Spit on Your Grave. A rape-revenge movie. Pretty much sums it up.

Weird Dave Review: Dial M for Murder

Up next for the Top 5 Movie Fest (gotta come up with a better name) is actually my own pick. This was a bit of a shot in the dark, so I'll admit I was a bit nervous going into the movie. But it turned out OK in the end.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/10/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 45 min

Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Release Date: 1954

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge, Killer Wyrm, Dirty Hippie, Eric, Alaina, Matthew

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 8/10

Presentation 9/10

I learned a few things and watched a WHOLE lot of movies in the past year in our foray into the AFI Top 100 Movies List. One of the things that really stuck with me was that I really enjoyed all of Alfred Hitchcock's movies that were presented. The first was North by Northwest, the second was Rear Window, the third was Psycho, and the fourth was Vertigo. Vertigo actually cracked the top 10, but to be honest it was my least favorite of the four. Pyscho I had seen, but the other two came out of nowhere for me.

Especially Rear Window. It was well-acted, well-written, well-directed, and well-presented. Everything about the movie oozed suspense, witty charm, and danger. I wanted to put an Alfred Hitchcock movie on my top 5 list but I was kind of in the dark as to which one. The Birds? Nah, too campy I thought. The Man Who Knew Too Much (his remake of his own movie)? I watched that separate from everyone else, enjoyed it, but it didn't blow me away. But Dial M for Murder - the title was great and evocative and only a relatively small group of people I knew had actually seen it.

The first thing you have to know about Dial M for Murder is that it is very British. And by very British, I mean ridiculously British. It's based on a stage play and the entire movie takes place almost entirely within the entirety of one apartment (Hell, one room in one apartment) - or flat, or house, or something. I dig some poking around beforehand and apparently filming of the movie took only 4 weeks, and 1 week of that was dedicated to the murder scene itself. A pair of scissors to the back. Well done, but I'm not sure why it took a week to film.

I really enjoyed the movie, and I don't want to just run down the plot here - you should see the movie, and if not there are better synopsis sites out in the web wilderness to peruse. The movie really kept me guessing - I didn't know how it was going to end, and it really felt like the perfect crime on paper. Even as things started to unravel the man who plots the murder of his wife seems to have thought of everything and planned for a very long time.

It's sharply editing, but there is a LOT of talking. Pretty much all dialog from start to finish, but even still I found myself riveted and engaged the entire time. If you haven't seen it Dial M for Murder is a great suspense film from the master of suspense himself. Check it out.

It's curious, but after watching this movie I find myself knowing where every pair of scissors in my house is located and if they've been moved. Wonder if that means something.

Oh well.

Site for Top 5 Movies

In case you were wondering, "what movies have people selected for their top 5 selections?" you can worry no more with the below link! Eric has kindly put together a site where we can view IMDB information for each movie along with a trailer (if available). Check it out. NOW!

http://nerdism.net/movienerds

Weird Dave Review: The Thing

Since it's October, that means Theater in the Garage is going through a Halloween Horror Film Fest on Thursdays in lieu of our regularly scheduled line up. The first week was Alien, and this week we watched the 1982 John Carpenter classic, The Thing.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/8/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 39 min

Director: John Carpenter

Release Date: 1982

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge, Killer Wyrm, Dirty Hippie, Wilder, Eric, Matthew

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 10/10

Presentation 9/10

This is one of my favorite movies of all time. The atmosphere, the pacing, the cast, the sets, the music - it all comes together as one fantastically terrifying cinematic treasure. I think this stands as John Carpenter's best work (though it is beat out by just a nudge on my own personal scale by Big Trouble in Little China). For those not in the know, John Carpenter's The Thing is ostensibly a remake of the 1951 sci-fi film The Thing From Another World, and both are adaptations of a John W. Campbell story from 1938 called Who Goes There? Fun fact.

I'm not going to disseminate the plot, as I'm sure most of you have seen the movie, but for the benefit of the one or two people who haven't here's a quick rundown - Antarctica station, Norwegians uncover spacecraft and unknown alien organism, organism takes over any living entity, wackiness ensues. What gets me every time I watch this movie is how great the effects are. And they're real! There's no CG in this movie, just good old fashioned models and robots. And it works so great.

The other amazing piece of the movie that gets me every time is the music. Composed by Ennio Morricone (of spaghetti-western fame), it serves as the perfect soundtrack to mistrust, paranoia, and horror. If you play any horror-themed RPGs you NEED to have this soundtrack, no questions asked. It creates perfect tension without taking players out of the moment with a more recognizable soundtrack. Eerie and wonderful!

As most of you probably know for the Halloween Horror Film Fest I serve up a tasty mixed drink thematically appropriate to the movie being watched. This movie was difficult to find a suitable one, and I eventually settled on Pina Coladas. Why Pina Coladas? Because they are 1) white like the frozen continent of Antarctica, 2) are cold like the biting winds of Antarctica, and 3) contain a deceptive amount of alcohol. I couldn't find a drink based solely on The Thing, or John Carpenter, or Wilford Brimley, or paranoia, or bodysnatchers. I considered serving straight J&B Scotch as Kurt Russel's character drinks but ... decided against it.

And whenever I see Kurt Russel in his big cowboy hat I think chimichangas. Not sure why.

Weird Dave Review: Superman/Batman Apocalypse

Last weekend I made a trip out to the local Best Buy and I was reminded of the new Superman/Batman movie, Apocalypse, had just been released. I was a fan of the new Batman: Under the Red Hood movie, and while Darkseid just isn't as cool as Thanos, wanted to give this new release a shot. So, on Tuesday, I fired up the garage theater with Spoonbridge and Griffie and popped it in.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/5/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 18 min

Director: Lauren Montgomery

Release Date: 2010

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Spoonbridge

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 5/10

Presentation 6/10

Man, do I hate Superman. The character is simply the worst of the worst when it comes to ... well, anything. And by that I mean he is the worst character I can ever think of - the only one that comes close is his pulp progenitor, Doc Savage. Superman can do anything, and his only flaws are the whole "great responsibility" situation that plague most superheroes. But the difference with Superman is that in order to threaten him on a physical scale you need to create ginormous world-shattering things to throw at him. And even then he's gonna win.

But there's also the emotional angle, and that's what they tried to do with the newest DC animated movie Superman/Batman Apocalypse. To start, if I had known this was the origin of the Supergirl character I WOULD NOT HAVE PURCHASED THIS MOVIE. Because that's exactly what it is, the origin of a spin-off Superman character with Batman thrown in almost as an afterthought. Hell, Wonder Woman has just as large a role in the movie as Batman but she doesn't get top billing. What the heck, DC?

At any rate, Apocalypse follows the story of a kryptonite meteor that contains Kal-El's cousin, Kara Zor-El. Why she's not as old as Kal-El is beyond me, and they don't really explain that AT ALL, but they establish that her parents sent her off Krypton at the same time Superman's parents did. Huge age difference, as she is just a teenager in the movie. Whatever.

It opens with the meteorite crashing into Gotham Bay, which seems to be the only way they could think of to get Batman involved. Go ahead and guess who voices Kara. I'll give you some hints. The character starts off nekked. She's young. She's extremely powerful but not quite in control of her feelings/powers. If you guess Summer Glau, congratulations! You're right. I don't think I've seen Summer Glau in a role that those words did not sum up. Type cast? Perhaps.

The passage of time is handled poorly, as we jump from "naked girl who only speaks Krypton" to "shopping spree in Metropolis" to "Krypto the Super Dog doesn't like the newcomer in the Fortress of Solitude" in a matter of minutes, but really the time span is months. And you heard me right. Krypto the Super Dog is in this movie. You can hear my eye twitching, can't you?

Batman doesn't trust Kara and Superman trusts her too much, so they decide to have her train on Paradise Island with Wonder Woman and her amazons. She learns to fight, and more months pass in a short time frame. We are also treated to images of the planet Apokalips (I think that's how you spell it) where the god-like being Darkseid reigns supreme. He has a strange thing for butch Earth women, and they occupy his Honor Guard. Darkseid senses Kara's power and decides to recruit her to be captain of his Honor Guard. Cue massive battle on Paradise Island.

There was also something in there about an oracle who died, but it wasn't really very clear. Kara is kidnapped by Darkseid, so Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and the former captain of Darkseid's Honor Guard depart for Apokalips via a boom tube (tee hee!). Turns out Darkseid has brainwashed Kara into blah blah blah.

I really don't want to write any more this summary because it's sounding dumber and dumber with each passing sentence. Bottom line - the animation was well-done, though Batman's cape was unnaturally slimming, and his upper lip bothered me. The voice acting was solid enough, with Kevin Conroy returning as Batman. The only one that really bothered me was Darkseid's voice. Just didn't have enough menace or properly convey the type of power a character like that possesses.

Big fights at the end with strange creatures on Apokalips that had its entertaining moments. Kara decides to become Supergirl after a series of explosive battles with Darkseid in Smallville. Blah blah blah. Watch at your own risk, and if you're a fan of Supergirl I'm sure you'll dig this movie. But otherwise ... I'd stay away.

Weird Dave Review: Waking Life

With the AFI Top 100 Movies list complete, we Movie Jerks have decided to start up a list of our own. Essentially each Movie Jerk picks 5 movies that they want others to see. Philosophies differ as to the selection of the 5 movies - some of us chose to pick movies we've never seen, while others picked movies they've seen and want others to see. It's going to be interesting, and on Saturday October 2nd we had our first movie - Waking Life.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/3/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 39 min

Director: Richard Linklater

Release Date: 2001

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Killer Wyrm, Akulas Psyhos (!), Matthew, Trent, Eric, Alaina

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 7/10

Presentation 7/10

Picked by the whim of a fanciful d10, the Movie Jerk to open the post-AFI list was Alaina. She had yet chosen all of her 5, but she had one in mind right away - Richard Linklater's 2001 under-the-radar movie, Waking Life. I had never heard of this movie before and was told it was about dreams.

And boy was it ever. Not only was it about dreams, but it was filmed as though it were a dream. The techniques Linklater used in this film he would later apply to his more mainstream release A Scanner Darkly. Essentially it's animation over real life (for which I'm sure there's a word for), but Waking Life has a sort of chaos that really captures the feeling of a dream. People warp and shift in strange, almost surreal ways even as you're looking at them and listening to them speak.

Which is something you'd better enjoy, because the movie is really just a series of conversation vignettes between various random people and the main character. Most had interesting things to say and all of the topics centered around dreams or moments in dream, though one particularly confusing section spoke of the Holy Moment. After watching the movie, I'm still not sure what a Holy Moment is - something about realizing that reality is based on the concept of "now" being the only moment where all things exist, and we've created history and time to come to terms with this monumental concept? I think?

It's all very surreal, with everything in a state of constant motion. There are many concepts bandied about the movie through animated (both actually and emotionally) ways, but I still found myself straining to stay interested. Characters would approach the protagonist and start talking with no build-up or introduction and begin to discuss at length something profound about dreams. Who are these people? The protagonist doesn't seem perturbed at their presence or their conversations, simply nodding at various times (or was that the animation jumping around?).

This is a movie that you can pull a lot of different viewpoints from. The one that I found the most interesting, and one that I hadn't really heard before, was that death was simply a constant dream state. If I had to pull a lesson or core concept from the film that would be it, but that may be simply because it was the last of the dream concepts discussed.

Bottom line - if you went and saw Inception and enjoyed the multi-layered dream facet of that movie, I'm confident in saying you'll find most of Waking Life enjoyable, or at least interesting. I'm ... not quite convinced this was a movie in the traditional sense of the word, as there was no story (in the sense of beginning, middle, end) - just conversations of complex dream concepts between various people. Still, interesting and insightful, this "movie" made me think about dreams in a new way, and that's gotta count for something.

Weird Dave Review: Alien

In October 2009 I decided to take a break from the AFI Top 100 Films that were being shown in the Theater in the Garage on Thursdays in exchange for a more thematically-appropriate suite of movies. It became a rundown of the classic Universal horror movies - Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Mummy, The Wolfman, Frankenstein, and Dracula.

This year I wanted to do something similar and explore the various subgenres of horror movies. After a bit of deliberation I decided to start with Ridley Scott's classic sci-fi horror film, Alien.

Format: Theater in the Garage

Screening Date: 10/1/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 57 min

Director: Ridley Scott

Release Date: 1979

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie, Killer Wyrm, Akulas Psyhos (!), Matthew, Trent

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 9/10

Presentation 10/10

This is one of the great horror movies of our time. It perfectly captures feelings of isolation and the absolute menace of an unknown alien creature. If you haven't seen it ... shame! Go see it now, because I'm going to assume everyone's seen it and spoil some of the movie here. When you do see it make sure it's the theatrical version, not the "director's" cut that was released a few years ago (along with an extended uncut "director's" cut). Ridley Scott has gone on record saying that the "director's" cut of the movie is the theatrical one - that's the movie he wanted to release as he had complete control over the editing. The movie is paced excellently, while the extended editions feel ... uneven. You see too much of the titular alien too early in those uncut versions. Best to leave the menace where it belongs - in the shadows and in terrifying jump moments.

As I don't want to run down the plot of the movie I'm going to focus on a few of my favorite things about this movie. The first are the sets. Holy crap is this movie gorgeous looking in terms of the raw detail. I really, really miss the days of models especially for sci-fi movies. So much detail goes into those that it feels so real, due in large part because IT IS SO REAL. The Nostromo is wonderfully dark, dank, old, and worn out, a mining ship that's clearly seen much use. The planet holding the alien eggs is a windswept Hell hole teeming with shadows and darkness and mystery. Everything about the movie has a real feel which helps to accentuate the terror of the situation.

I also really enjoyed Ian Holm as the android "Don't Call Me" Ash willing to do anything to achieve company goals. He's so matter-of-fact in his jackassery and his complete lack of empathy towards the crew that you just hate him immediately, though you don't really have a reason at first. And the scene where Ripley is talking to his severed head? Priceless.

The music helps to create this atmosphere of dread and breathless anticipation that it's difficult to take your eyes off the film. Difficult for most people, unfortunately, but as I am not most people I did doze off a few times. Do NOT take that as a criticism of the film on any level. It's just that I've seen this movie dozens of times and it was late and the alcohol didn't help.

Did I forget to mention the alcohol? The other tradition started in October 2009 was the serving of a thematically-appropriate mixed drink to go along with the movie. With the classic Universal movies it was easy, but this year I'm having difficulties finding suitable drinks. For Alien I found a recipe for "alien secretion" which is 1 part Midori melon liquor, 1 part Malibu coconut rum, and 1 part pineapple juice. It was, at one movie goer put it, "quite booze-y" and perhaps was a bit on the strong side.

All in all, I'd say a great movie to kick off the October 2010 Halloween Horror filmfest.

Weird Dave Review: The American

Time for the first review of the newly re-commissioned MovieJerks blog. The format's going to be undergoing some changes, I'm sure, so this is a first stab at an ongoing process. So deal with it.

Format: Theatrical

Screening Date: 9/29/2010

Run Time: 1 hr 45 min

Director: Anton Corbijn

Release Date: 2010

Attendance: Weird Dave, Griffie

Review At A Glance

Enjoyment 2/10

Presentation 6/10

This was a movie that I had very little information about going into it. It had been on my radar for a few weeks, and with very weak theatrical offerings I decided to give it a chance. George Clooney in what appears to be some sort of spy thriller? Potential. I dragged Griffie to the movie as well, who was about in the same boat.

Good God, the movie was a snoozefest. It started off in Sweden, in the snow, with Clooney and a brief but relatively lively if realistic and brief action scene. OK movie, I can dig that. We are then treated to what seems like an hour of Clooney driving around Italy to lay low, during which he receives a "job." At this point there is no indication as to what this character does, except that he's good at shooting people. Again, OK movie, I can get into that, but nothing EVER comes of it. He builds a gun to fit into a briefcase, meets the prostitute with a heart of gold (Character Stereotype #31), and drives around.

And if you're a fan of heart-pumping, show-stopping scenes of people driving the speed limit, boy are you in for a treat. This movie was made for you! Thrill as Clooney ... drives. And then drives some more. And then, for a change of pace, drives to some new place to meet a side character of a side character that seems to add nothing to the overall experience. It was difficult to keep my eyes open during this film, and I'm not convinced I didn't doze off a few times in the theater.

Granted, Italy is a beautiful place, and the cinematography was well done. But the whole movie felt like the summer vacation photos of an American tourist who works for Colt. Ughhhh. So dull. So dry. So uninteresting.

There were about three action scenes in the whole movie that seemed to be the passage of time markers, and they were all short. One to begin, one in the middle to remind the audience they haven't died and gone to Purgatory, and one at the end to wake people up so that they can leave. How considerate.

I think somewhere in this film there's an underlying message about emotional attachments, but I'm not sure what it is. Are emotional attachments bad? Did the main character in this movie have an emotional attachment to the prostitute with the heart of gold? I honestly don't know. What about the Italian priest and the bit about sinners? Is Clooney trying to do right by his own moral code, surviving in a world where the best use of his skills is to build guns? Is he an assassin? Does he work for some organization? Who are the Swedes? Why do they want him dead? Does he know something? None of these questions EVEN GET ASKED, since our only window into the movie was Clooney's character and he already friggin' knew the answers. He was just keeping them from us.

Ass.

In summation, I can't in good taste recommend this movie to anyone but the chronic sleep-deprived. Avoid this movie. Please.

Change in Format

I was thinking today, which is something that happens most days, that this blog is terribly underutilized. I blame myself - Harris suggested that I use this blog to post reviews for the AFI movies, and it was a good idea that died with #94. We just finished #1 so I'm not going to go back, but instead I'm going to post my thoughts on EVERY movie I see from now on. Theatrical, DVD, Netflix, whatever - if I see it I'm going to throw up my thoughts on it on this blog. Get some interest going.

I invite others to do the same. If you're a Movie Jerk enough.

AFI #94 Pulp Fiction Review

Oooh boy does this movie divide people. Some people love it, some people hate it, but most can agree that it put director Quentin Tarantino on the collective map. I'm still not sure what I think about this movie after multiple viewings!

Screening Date: 8/2/2009, 12:01 AM
Run Time: 154 minutes (2 hours, 34 minutes)
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Release Date: 1994
Attendance: Weird Dave, Harris Burkhalter, Patrick Griffin, Luke Price, Aaron Ostman, Eric Brooks, Alaina Thole, Alice Ruzin

I think, after 10 years of seeing this movie, I've finally come a conclusion. I don't care for this movie very much at all. I've spoken with multiple people about it from multiple backgrounds, and I've learned some things I didn't know before, some things that I didn't see or didn't realize. But that doesn't make it good in my eyes.

If you haven't seen it ... I'm not going to try to recap. It's essentially a character study, with many many characters having many many conversations about many many things. It has groups of main characters that tie together through varied circumstances, like two hit men (John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson) making a hit on a target; one of the hit men and his boss' wife (John Travolta and Uma Thurman) enjoying a night on the town and a drug overdose; two robbers (Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer) robbing a diner; a boxer and the boss of the hit men (Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames) rigging an upcoming match; the boxer and his wife/girlfriend (Bruce Willis and Maria de Medeiros) avoiding the hit men boss after betraying him; the boss being raped by rednecks and rescued by the boxer after an uncannily unlucky set of circumstances; the two hit men cleaning up their car with the help The Wolf (Harvey Keitel); and the two hit men meeting the two robbers in the diner as it is being robbed.

As you can read, the movie is very disjointed, with characters thrown about like popcorn at an Ed Wood festival. Each character has their own idiosyncracies that play out in the scenes, and the over ridding theme seems to revolve around morality. The moral choices that face seemingly immoral people, or the immoral choices that moral people choose. After a "miracle" where a man shoots at the two hitmen and misses completely, Samuel L. Jackson has an epiphany and decides that God wanted him to live and decides to give up the glorious hit man life. John Travolta, meanwhile, saves the life of his boss' wife after she ODs on a white powder drug but dies in the home of Bruce Willis after the boxer returns to retrieve his watch. What message does this send?

There's a few parts that sum up to little more than overblown cameos for people Tarantino likes, admires, or sleeps with. Christopher Walken plays an released Vietnam POW who hid Bruce Willis' father's watch in his ass for two years. Harvey Keitel plays a cool, collected "specialist" called in when Travolta and Jackson have an accident involving a gun, a bullet, and a head. Tarantino himself plays a role in this scene, and boy is he not a good actor.

There's so much going on in this movie that it's impossible for me to say I hate it. Many of the coversations, especially between the hit men, are filled with interesting lines and good points, but are these gems worth the price of admission? Hard to say, but I think this is a movie everyone needs to see once, which I suppose is the reason it's on the AFI list. At least we're not treated to extended sequences featuring Tarantino's foot fetish, though an ongoing conversation revolves around foot massages.

AFI #95 The Last Picture Show Review

Like "Do the Right Thing," this movie falls squarely into the category of "never heard of before now." It's got quite a cast in their first starring roles, including Randy Quaid (emphasis on the randy), Jeff Bridges, and Sybill Shepard. Does a movie filmed in 1971 set in 1951 seen in 2009 hold up?

Screening Date: 7/31/2009, 12:01 AM
Run Time: 126 minutes (2 hours, 6 minutes)
Director: Peter Bogdanovich
Release Date: 1971
Attendance: Weird Dave, Harris Burkhalter, Patrick Griffin, Luke Price, Aaron Ostman, Eric Brooks, Alaina Thole

I felt this was a very depressing movie. It stars Timothy Bottoms as Sonny, the main character of this film set in the drab, windy Texas town of Anarene. It's 1951, Sonny and his friend Duane (Jeff Bridges) are still in high school, trying to score with their respective girlfriends. They frequent the local movie house, where they keep to the back of the auditorium with their lady friends making out. Duane's got Jacy (Sybill Shepard), the prettiest girl in school, while Sonny's got ... someone else.

The movie was filmed in black and white, which really helps to capture the bleak feel of the film. Early on Sonny dumps his girlfriend, and begins a secret tryst with the wife of the high school gym coach. The wife is played by Cloris Leachman, and is it sad that the only two things I know Cloris Leachman from are "Young Frankenstein" and "Beerfest"? Probably. We see the sexual frustrations and inexperience played out between the two main characters in their unique positions.

It's quickly revealed that Jacy wants nothing to do with Duane, and leaves him for a nude pool party with Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid ... brrr, the guy just oozes creep like a cheap cologne. We see far too much of Randy at the pool party, where he and the gaggle of onlookers convince Jacy to strip naked and join them in the pool. It's an interesting turning point for the young girl, perhaps a pivotal moment where she throws caution to the wind and just goes with it.

Sonny goes steady with Cloris Leachman, even after high school, while Duane gets more and more restless after Jacy leaves him. A few members of the town are revealed as the movie progresses, including the owner of more than a few buildings in Anarene - Sam the Lion. Sam runs the pool hall and owns the diner, and he employs a mentally handicapped boy named Billy to help clean up and keep things tidy. Sam, Billy, and Sonny enjoy many a time together, including a fishing trip out to a muddy creek with no fish. Sam describes how he once loved a woman who was a wild filly, but their love didn't work out.

Afterwards Sonny and Duane take a weekend trip to Mexico, and upon their return learn that Sam died of a heart attack. This was the last straw for Duane, who takes the incident as an excuse to head out of town on an oil rig job. Sonny, however, sticks around, since Sam left him the pool hall. After Duane's left Jacy cozies up to Sonny, upsetting his relationship with Cloris, and when Duane returns for a weekend things get heated between the two friends. Words are spoken, a scuffle breaks out, and Duane breaks a beer bottle over Sonny's face.

The wounded man spends some time in the hospital recuperating, and has a large bandage over the side of his face. Jacy, seeing in Sonny a successful young man who owns the town pool hall, decides to get married and the two run off in a surprising turn.

It doesn't work out, Jacy's parents catch them at the border, and Sonny returns to the doom and gloom of small town life in Texas. Duane ships off to the military while Sonny sticks around in Anarene. The mentally handicapped boy gets hit by a truck in the middle of town and Sonny tries to reconnect with Cloris Leachman. The end.

All in all this was a depressing tale of how a small town get dig its claws into your hollow husk and never let go. The film seems to be about the death of small town living when the movie house closes up for good, leaving nothing but wind and flatness and gray. Endless gray, like the color of Sonny's soul. Or something.

AFI #96 Do the Right Thing Review

I realized fairly recently that there were a lot of movies that I had not only not seen, but weren't even aware of. There are titles on the AFI list that I couldn't tell you one thing about them. "Do the Right Thing" falls into this category quite soundly, so already I feel like I've expanded my movie watching horizons.

Screening Date: 7/26/2009, 10:00 PM
Run Time: 120 minutes (2 hours)
Director: Spike Lee
Release Date: 1989
Attendance: Weird Dave, Patrick Griffin

I have not seen many Spike Lee movies; in fact, I think the only one I had seen previously was "Malcolm X." After seeing this racially charged, hate-fueled movie, I'm not sure I want to rush out and see more to be honest.

"Do the Right Thing" gives us a picture of the hottest day of summer in a small neighborhood in Brooklyn populated primarily by black people. We see Samuel L. Jackson as the DJ for the local radio, along with Ossie Davis as a drunk bum who calls himself "The Mayor." Spike Lee plays Mookie, the protagonist/antagonist on this hot Brooklyn day, who works at a local pizzeria shop run by an Italian man named Sal (played quite brilliantly by Danny Aiello) and his two sons, Vito (Richard Edson of "Super Mario Brothers" fame) and Pino (John Turturro, who was recently urinated on by a gobot).

Mookie works as a pizza delivery man for the neighborhood, where he knows everyone and everyone knows him. A nice enough neighborhood it seems, with interesting characters going about their business as interesting characters do. The trouble starts early in the day when a young "power to the black man" kind of upstart demands that Sal put up pictures of black celebrities on the wall of his Italian pizzeria. Sal throws him out, but this sparks a heated and continued debate between Sal and his son Pino over their future in the neighborhood. Pino feels like they should move out into the Italian section of Brooklyn and Sal says he's staying right there.

As the day progresses tempers flare all over the place and we get introduced to a pack of more interesting characters, including a deafeningly-loud boombox playing gent named Radio Raheem. The action that played Radio seemed so familiar, but all I coudl think of was Tracy Morgan. After a bit of digging afterward the reason he seemed familiar is because he was the same actor who played Robbie in the Spider-Man films. Man, that bugged me throughout the movie.

We're introduced to a budding romance between The Mayor and the local gossip queen known as Mother Sister. Nothing really goes anywhere with it, which pretty much sums up all of the myriad of plot threads in the movie - they don't really go anywhere. We see a lot of characters doing things that don't get resolved or don't go anywhere, and then WHAM! The gent who was thrown out of Sal's pizzeria comes back with Radio Raheem, sparks an intense racially fueled argument that escalates into a fistfight in the streets, and culminates in Radio's death at the hands of the police.

But the mob of angry residents blame Sal, and it is Mookie who throws the trash can through the glass window. Torches are lit and the place burns to the ground, a business that had been around for many many years as established in earlier scenes. I'm not sure the message here, since the riot was fueled by Radio Raheem's death, but perhaps the undercurrent was the overriding, mounting racial tensions built up over the many many years. Maybe.

Overall I think the movie had some great symbolism, but it just felt like it didn't go anywhere. We see a lot of characters doing things around the neighborhood, some racially charged some not, and then Sal's pizzeria is burnt down in an angry mob. Mookie threw the first stone, so to speak, but he kind of reconciles with Sal the next morning. Lesson? Umm ... I'm not sure. The lesson that stuck with me was that anger can override any other emotion and turn normal, decent folks into monsters. I'm going to stick with that.

AFI #97 Blade Runner Review

I've seen Blade Runner many, many times, and it ranks among my Top 10 Movies of All Time list (number 6 I believe?). But always I have seen the director's cut, or more recently the final cut in theaters. I hadn't seen the theatrical cut, so I went out, picked up the 5 disc ultimatron mega blu-ray edition and set the date for Blade Runner.

Screening Date: 7/25/2009, 12:01 AM
Run Time: 117 minutes (1 hour, 57 minutes)
Director: Ridley Scott
Release Date: 1982
Attendance: Weird Dave, Patrick Griffin, Aaron Ostman, Eyo, Luke Price

Blade Runner is an awesome movie, with amazing visuals and powerful acting. Harrison Ford does an exceptional job as Deckard, a retired blade runner hired to hunt down and "retire" four replicants that escaped from an off-world colony. Replicants are man-made machine people, with emotions and desires, but with a built-in four year lifespan.

The four escaped replicants are led by Roy, played by Rutger Hauer, a Nexus 6 advanced model. The others include Priss, a pleasure model played by Daryl "Clan of the Cave Bear" Hannah; Zhora, a female replicant built for combat played by Joanna Cassidy; and Leon ... umm ... a basic replicant? I don't recall. But he did have one of my favorite movie lines of all time ("Wake up, it's time to die").

Anyway, Deckard tracks these replicants down through futuristic detective methods, which include and are limited to magic photo scanning/rotating/zooming devices. All the while he's interacting with Tyrell, a man-frog looking guy who runs the company that created the Nexus replicants. Tyrell's secretary is Rachael, played by Man-shoulders Magoo, also known as Sean Young. She's quite handsome.

Deckard figures out that Rachael is actually a replicant, though she doesn't know it, and they knock boots together. Deckard tracks down and kills Zhora in a crowded street, and then gets confronted by Leon, who is shot by Rachael. Two down, two to go.

Pris and Roy have shacked up with a genius man named Sebastian who has a hyperthalmic disorder, which means his body ages faster than normal, a parallel to the replicant's own condition. Eventually Deckard tracks the replicants to Sebastian's apartment and an awesome fight ensues, with Pris biting it early on and Roy essentially playing cat and mouse with the blade runner. There's a really cool, gross scene where Roy, his hand clenching in what we assume is a sign of the end of his four year life span, shoves a nail through his palm. Nothing symbolic there, no siree!

The theatrical cut of Blade Runner differs from the director's cut and final cut in two key areas. The first is the ending - the theatrical ending has Deckard and Rachael driving off on a sunny highway. Very uplifting, quite jarring.

The other difference is a voice over narration by Deckard. I like Harrison Ford, I think he's a good actor, but boy is he a bad narrator. I wonder if that's why he hasn't done any animated movies? The narration comes at odd times and doesn't add anything to the story, and in fact accentuates some confusing parts. Trust me on this one, you don't need to see the theatrical edition. Stick with the director's cut or future versions.

AFI #98 Yankee Doodle Dandy Review

The first musical on the AFI list is the 1942 "classic" Yankee Doodle Dandy. I was not even aware this movie existed until I decided to do the whole AFI list, but I asked around to friends and family and the best description I received was : "sickeningly patriotic." I would have to agree.

Screening Date: 7/24/2009, 12:01 AM
Run Time: 126 minutes (2 hours, 6 minutes)
Director: Michael Curtiz
Release Date: 1942
Attendance: Weird Dave (alone!)

This movie wasn't all bad, and I can kind of see why it was included on a list of the greatest American movies of all time. It was "sickeningly patriotic," I'd have to agree, but it also possesses an innocent charm hearkening back to the days of World War II. The last romantic war, that's for sure, and its spirit is captured in this autobiographical story.

The movie follows the life of George M. Cohan, famous for writing "Over There," that thrilling diddy of kicking the snot out of Germans in World War I. He was born to an Irish singing, dancing family known eventually as the Four Cohans - him, his sister, his father, and his mother. They traveled the United States, playing in every state and county fair available throughout the early part of the century. Oh, and George M. Cohan was born on the 4th of July. Of course.

The music was actually pretty catchy, and the scenes were well rehearsed and quite engaging. The rest of the movie, however, suffered from a noticeable lack of conflict. Most stories follow similar patterns, with an introduction of the protagonist, introduction of conflict, protagonist deals with conflict and fails, protagonist learns some lesson, protagonist overcomes conflict with a rousing song and dance number.

"Yankee Doodle Dandy" followed that pattern minus the conflict. It had less of a movie feel and more of a music biography special about a man who became famous, earned lots of money, had his name in lights, and then was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. The end. The whole story is told by George M. Cohan to FDR after the opening of Cohan's first new play in a decade.

Overall the "movie" was well done, and James Cagney has a screen presence that is just electrifying. However, the lack of any sort of confict beyond Cohan's own arrogance (which only manifests itself a few times, not enough to be really considered a problem) and the constant musical numbers (which are all presented as theater, so no spontaneous song and dance in a mess hall nonsense) bring the whole experience down for me. While not bad, I don't think I'm going to watch this again.

AFI #99 Toy Story Review

You didn't grow up in the 90's without seeing this movie. It was everywhere - if you didn't own it, you knew someone who did, or went somewhere that had access to it. I'm not sure but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that there was a breakfast cereal based on it.

Screening Date: 7/19/2009, 12:01 AM
Run Time: 81 minutes
Director: John Lasseter
Release Date: 1995
Attendance: Weird Dave, Patrick Griffin, Aaron Ostman, Matthew Anderson, Kat (?), Kat's Friend (?)

This is a good movie. It's fun, engaging, and entertaining for the whole family, even a pack of 20-year olds sitting around a Garage Theater. The story, at least partially written by Joss Whedon, zips along at a quick pace but never feels rushed.

In case you didn't grow up in the 90's (or forgot), Toy Story gives a depiction of what happens with toys when people aren't around. Why, they come to life of course! Our protagonist is a cowboy doll named Woody, voiced perfectly by Tom Hanks (who I'm sure had a stupid haircut a la The Da Vinci Code while doing the voice). Woody is the favored toy of the child Andy, and serves as the de facto leader of Andy's toys. This was Pixar's first big release, and we see several voice actors who would go on to appear in all of their animated films, notably John Ratzenberger. Oddly enough his voice seems perfect for the part of Hamm, the piggy bank. Go figure.

Life is swell for the toys in Andy's room until Andy's birthday party, where he receives a new toy - a Buzz Lightyear action figure. The voice acting in this movie is superb all around, but special props go to Tim Allen for his depiction of the clueless space ranger Buzz. He's just so perfect for a toy who doesn't think he's a toy. He truly believes everything on his packaging, which provides no end of frustration to Woody.

As the movie progresses Woody is left more and more along the wayside in favor of the shiny new Buzz. A series of accidents, however, winds both of the toys up in the house of Sid, the neighborhood kid who has a penchant for blowing up toys or feeding them to his dog, Scud. In Sid's room Buzz and Woody meet the gang of GROTESQUELY misfit toys, victims of Sid and Scud who have learned to patch themselves together. They don't speak, and are initially pegged as canibals, but it turns out they just want to help.

Buzz and Woody come up with a plan to escape before Andy and his family move away the next day. The plan is executed perfectly, and the poor Sid is probably scarred for life after witnessing the traumatizing sights of his past misdeeds returned to haunt him. The two toys manage to catch up to the moving truck and are reunited with Andy and the rest of the gang.

The dialogue is top notch and everyone deserves accolades for their work as voice actors, but I have to say the animation is a bit dated. Almost 15 years old at this point, the movie looked like it could have been an aspiring graphic designer's demo reel in terms of visuals. Not bad by any stretch of the word, just a bit outdated.

And Randy Newman needs to die.

AFI #100 Ben-Hur Review

To begin watching the AFI Top 100 Movies List, you have to start from somewhere. I decided to start at #100 and move down, so looking at the 2007 AFI list I see that #100 is the Charlton Heston epic, Ben-Hur.

Screening Date: 7/17/2009, 12:01 AM
Run Time: 212 minutes (3 hours, 32 minutes)
Director: William Wyler
Release Date: 1959
Attendance: Weird Dave, Patrick Griffin, Harris Burkhalter, Trenton Rehberger, David "Schwami" Schillmoeller

It is quite a shame that I had not seen this movie, as it fits right in with my viewing tastes. Epic scale, grandiose style, and Charlton Heston as a Jew speaking in his clenched teeth mode. Ben-Hur has all of this and a surprisingly engaging storyline that follows Judah Ben-Hur, a Jewish noble betrayed by his Roman friend. His mother and sister imprisoned by the Romans, sent to work on a slave galley for three years, this man keeps going with an inner strength that stems from his belief he'll one day be reunited with his family.

His slave ship engages in a mighty naval battle, which was done surprisingly well with models considering it was 50 years ago, where he saves the life of the ship's captain after their vessel is destroyed. Ben-Hur earns the man's friendship, and afterwards they both travel to Rome where the former Jewish noble becomes a vassal of the Roman lord. Ben-Hur shows quite an aptitude for horses and races the Roman's chariots in the games, and continues to do so for several years.

I think. One of my biggest complaints about the movie is how it handles the passage of time, which is to say not very well. For a movie that's more than 3 1/2 hours long you think they could've squeezed something in, a phrase flashing by that says "3 years later" or something like that.

Long story shorter, Ben-Hur races his Roman friend in the climactic chariot scene the movie is famous for. It was quite intense - or at least I think, since I fell asleep for most of it. I'm quite embarassed by this, though it is odd that I would stay glued to my seat for most of the movie and then drop when the action ramped up. Not sure what that says.

Ben-Hur beats his Roman friend and returns to Jerusalem to find his family, where he meets up with his former slave and his daughter. Here towards the end we see a romance story start to emerge, but it is quickly squashed when Ben-Hur learns his mother and sister have become lepers in the Roman governor's dungeons.

Here's where the movie starts to not be so good. Through good fortune and luck Ben-Hur learns of his family's plight, and also that there is a miracle worker named Jesus in the area who can cure leprosy. They arrive too late, unfortunately, seeing Jesus dragged through the streets attached to the cross and then crucified. But the sun shines through and the family's leprosy is cured. The end.

I have to say, I did really like the film overall. It was extremely well done, and overall well paced. Until the end. The first 3 hours felt like a half hour, and the last half hour felt like 3 hours. When the movie introduced the suffering of Jesus after Ben-Hur's ordeal it just felt jarring.

Overall, though, it was a good introduction and a movie everyone should see. "Let my people go!" Or something.

AFI List Thoughts

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